Ever Since Then
by Arigatou Sheitarou
Summary: You don't understand, Fate-chan. Ever since then- You've never understood. And it's not like I haven't been clear about it, because I have. It's not my fault you're as dense as lead. NanoFate, Post StrikerS


You don't understand, Fate-chan.

Ever since then-

You've never understood.

And it's not like I haven't been clear about it. I've been pretty damn blatant. I mean, it's honestly not my fault you're as dense as lead.

But, wait.

Please.

Don't go just yet.

I just want you to get me.

I want you to know what I mean. What I meant. I want you to know what I've always wanted you to appreciate.

I want you to be _aware_.

**Ever Since Then**

You know how they always say ignorance is bliss?

Well, I'm sure you expect to hear this from me, because even _I_ would expect to hear it from me, but honestly, for sure, you're all wrong about what you're thinking.

Ignorance.

To be unaware. A lack of knowledge or education.

It's such a beautiful word. At least, it is in my opinion.

Anyway…what was I saying? …grr, I hate it when this happens to me. What did I say, Fate-chan?

"…_about the fight."_

No…no, Fate-chan. That's not what I was saying.

Are you even listening to me?

Well. Whatever. You can ignore me all you want. I'm still not going away.

…Ah.

Right. I remember now.

So yeah. Ignorance is both a blessing and a curse, especially when you consider things like love that's entirely unrequited on your part, love that _isn't_ unrequited on your part, and love that you feel that the other person doesn't requite.

Right.

Love.

Being ignorant about that is not a good idea. I mean. We wasted so much time, didn't we, Fate-chan?

And, I know we haven't been _together_ together for that long, but I want you to know that I love you. I really do. Entirely. Completely. You own my soul.

You could sell my heart on eBay.

Or whatever.

My point is that you could do anything to me, and I wouldn't care. You know? 'Cause it's you. And I love you.

I really, really do.

Yes. Always. Forever. It was fate that brought us together, after all.

Haha, get it, Fate-chan? …God, you could at least laugh at my lame attempt at a joke. Or cough. Or something. Anything. Please.

"…"

Mou…you're cruel sometimes…

I love and adore you and that's never gonna change. Like, ever.

And I'm so sorry for that fight, Fate-chan. I was being stupid, and you were right.

And God. I just wish you'd talk to me. Actually talk to me.

Why aren't you talking to me, Fate-chan? I miss you so much. Everything you say…I miss you against me, you know? During those nights that are cold and really kind of creepy. And I'm sure it's strange considering this is coming from someone who's known as the White Devil, but…

I get so scared when I'm not with you. I'm so out of my comfort zone when I'm without you. And, you know, when we're having fights like that last one…

I get so distracted.

My heart grows strange. It's hyperactive one minute, and completely silent the next. It feels…so bizarre.

So odd.

Terrifying.

And my head…Damn it…my head. It kind of hurts right now. Especially because you're not talking to me. Why aren't you talking to me?

Please…Fate-chan…

Just forgive me already…

I miss you…

It's like I have this…this huge, gaping hole in my chest…it hurts right here, Fate-chan…It hurts so badly…

You know…it felt like this every time you would wake up screaming…After the Scaglietti incident…You never did tell me what he said to you.

Though that was probably for the best.

I would have probably killed him.

I still would, if I could.

But I can't. Because you wouldn't like that, would you?

…Would you?

"…"

Stop it, already, Fate-chan… Please…!

Answer me…!

Why won't you answer me…?!

…Wait. Wai- Fate-chan! Fate-chan! Please don't cry!

What're you-?! Yuuno-kun…?

…What?

What on earth is going on here?

Why is everyone-…?

"_I'm so sorry, Testarossa…"_

S-Signum…? Wh- is everyone against me? Is that what-?

"_She was distracted, and they…they came from out of nowhere…"_

I don't understand. Who was distracted? What happened?

"…_She's dead, Testarossa…Nanoha-"_

Wait. You've got to be joking, Signum. Please.

Hello!

I'm right here!

Alive!

Fine!

Feeling pretty damn stupid, but I'm alive and well!

Signum-san! Fate-chan! Yuuno-kun!

Why won't you look at me?! What's wrong, Fate-chan…?! Stop crying! I'm not dead! I'm right here!

I'm here!

"_Did she manage to kill them?"_

…Don't smile like that, Fate-chan….please…I'm right here…

_Right here…_

"_Ah…"_

"_What's-…what happened, Fate-chan?"_

"…_I…I…my a-arm…I felt-"_

I love you, Fate-chan…

More than anything else in the world.

Please…! Please, Fate-chan!

Hear me! I'm sorry!

_I'm sorry!_

Don't leave her alone! Not when she's like this! Never when she's like this!

Don't leave her!

I-…

"…_Nanoha…N-Nanoha…I'm so…" _Stop crying…Fate-chan… _"…sorry…I'm so sorry…"_

_Stop crying, Fate-chan…I'm right here…I know you can feel me…_

You've always had such pretty hair, Fate-chan…

Such soft skin…

…such beautiful eyes…

I'm still right here, Fate-chan…so you can stop crying now…I'm still…

…_right here._

_I…_

"_I miss you, Nanoha…"_

…_love you._

_I…_

"_I love you, Nanoha…"_

…_will never leave your side._

_I…_

"…_So why did you leave me?"_

**A/N: **I'm not really sure where this one came from. I was just feeling a little odd...so I started writing. And at first, it was just a rant. But then it turned into this.

So yeah. Thanks for reading.


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